Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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