One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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