we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize