Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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