SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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