well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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