Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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