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I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you will always have a special place in my vag
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Randomize
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