Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
two words: eviction party
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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