barbara walters just said penis...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize