Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I party with great urgency now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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