i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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