So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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