Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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