God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize