It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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