My friends, they love my intelligence
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I want her autograph on my taint
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
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It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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