yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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