im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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