if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize