Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize