we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
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I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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