be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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