On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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