This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
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she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Less talking, more tequila
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Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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