Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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