I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize