Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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