And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
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The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize