some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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