i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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