new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
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It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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