...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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