Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize