So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
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Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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