How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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