We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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