He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
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New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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