Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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