he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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