life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize