Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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