Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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