My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she pinky promised me she was 18
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
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Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize