I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize