So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize