I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize