come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize