oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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