so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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